Worrying

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow” – Swedish Proverb

I have been using some of the downtime here at the end of the year catching up on several of the blogs I enjoy reading.  One of the ones I enjoy is called the Positivity Blog.  I saw this quote in one their entries and it stirred up some of my own thoughts about the effects of worrying. 

In stressful times I spend a fair amount of my spare time and energy worrying.  I am particularly bad about worrying about preferred outcomes to conversations or actions that have already occurred.  For example if I have a particularly difficult discussion at work or with a friend I will often replay this dialog in my head repeatedly.  Each time rephrasing my dialog or modifying my actions until I determine what the best possible outcome could have been.  Truthfully this is an almost pointless activity because no matter how much energy I expend I cannot go back and change what has already happened.  The only solace I offer myself is that this activity often prevents me from repeating the same mistakes in my interactions with others.  In this case I think the quote applies because I build up my fault in the interaction to something much larger than it really was.

The other most common cause of worrying for me is anticipating negative outcomes.  As I approach new situations or high stress activities I often run various scenarios outcomes through my head.  These often include positive outcomes as well but I frequently find myself trying to mentally prepare my reaction to each of the negative outcomes.  This seems fruitless when I consider that each scenario only has one true outcome and no amount of worrying will prepare me any better than the plethora of life experience that I have already collected.  The quote applies here because I allow remote possibilities to turn into areas of focus in my mind when really they do not deserve that much credit.

In summation I do not think I will ever be someone who can eliminate worrying entirely.  However, I do think I can remind myself of these observations in times of particular mental anguish due to my mental anticipation and reaction to stress in my life.  I must remind myself to be present and to reassure myself that I have prepared as best as I can for whatever comes next.

2013 Goals

I always debate whether to do this but I have a theory that even if you don’t fully realize your goals that simply having them stretches you to challenge yourself.  I have not always met the resolutions I set for myself but I’m always a better person for having pushed myself to meet them and end up further ahead than I would have otherwise.  One thing I learned from previous years is that some of the keys to success are to be more specific and to evaluate my progress with more regularity.  With that said here are a few of my ambitions for the coming year:

• Increase my consideration for others by being more thoughtful towards loved ones and through random acts of kindness
• Continue the Book a Week Challenge
• Healthier Lifestyle – eat out less, drink less soda, exercise at least 2-3 times per week, and focus meals around a protein and vegetables
• Finally Complete the 5k on my 30 before 30 List – I will be running in the Diva Dash with my friend Joanna in late February
• Other 30 before 30 Items I’d like to accomplish this year – mountain cabin rental, finish the Harry Potter series, sushi making class, floral arrangement class, and 10 year high school reunion
• Travel – we currently have plans to go to Disney in January and to Switzerland for Spring Break! I’d also like to plan a few mini trips throughout the year
• Renew Our Vows for Our 5^th Anniversary in June
• Research Graduate Schools and Begin Studying for the GMAT

I’ll end this post with a comparison of my adherence to my 2012 goals:

I only had two primary goals for 2012.  The first was to drop cable which we did and we have been living free of cable TV mostly happily for 10 months now.  It was an adjustment at first but we use Netflix or Hulu+ when we want to watch something and use a digital receiver for basic channels.  It has helped us decrease our time spent each week parked in front of the TV.  This has opened up more time for reading, quality time together, and time with friends.  For this goal I say we exceeded with flying colors!

The second goal I set for myself in 2012 was to live a healthier lifestyle.  On this goal I would give myself a mixed review.  I went through waves throughout the year.  Ultimately at the end of the year I am down a few pounds from last year but my effort towards healthy living was in spurts and not a true permanent change to my habits.  One thing I learned was to be more specific so I can measure my progress more concretely.  So instead of saying being healthier this year I have divided my 2013 goal into 4 sub points and hope that this will help me succeed.  Kyle has also expressed an interest in these sub goals so I think having him on board will help keep me accountable and motivated. 

2012 Recap

This has been a pretty incredible year!  I really challenged myself to work on various aspects of self-improvement and to be more tuned into the blessings in our life.  Kyle and I want to make that we are always good at loving the people who are valuable to us and enriching the lives of the people around us even if it is only in small ways.  I have been using my book a week challenge and the items on my 30 before 30 list as ways to challenge myself to try new things and to soak up new information. 

We started off the year in Hawaii as my reward from my company for winning the PEAK award.  The trip was one of my favorite trips we have ever taken as a couple.  My company took care of every aspect and expense of the trip and we truly just relaxed and enjoyed ourselves.  We even splurged on a few excursions and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly!  For Spring Break we decided to do something to thank our parents for all that they have done for us so we paid for a beach house rental for the week on Tybee Island.  It was such a wonderful feeling to be able to treat our parents to something nice and all of us had a wonderful time.  In May we got to see two of our closest friends Kim and Austin get married and our hearts are so full of happiness for them.  Their vows were so personal and the reception was such a blast!

The summer was jam packed with Kyle’s birthday, BigStuf, our 4^th anniversary, and our annual pilgrimage to 12 Mile Indiana for the Fourth of July festivities.  This year we had the biggest group yet go with us and it was a blast! Divot turned 5 this year, we are so lucky to have such a cute and sweet dog!

Once the school year started the remainder of the year has really flown by.  I visited my best friend in Houston, finally! We were able to go back to visit Kyle’s mom and stepdad for their annual Oktoberfest.  Then as we headed into the holiday season we celebrated the marriage of our couple friends Kelsey and Colette.  We enjoyed a very peaceful Thanksgiving with family.  Then we ended the year with several Christmas parties and lots more time with family and friends.  As we have gotten older we have really focused in on meaningful friendships and spending quality time with people.  People talk about how much fun college was and while it was I think about how much time I spent on acquaintances and more shallow relationships and realize that this is also a really great phase of life!

My Year on Instagram - 2012

I absolutely love this application and have enjoyed using it as a type of photo blog.  We have had lots of our friends join this year which has made it even more fun.  It is hard to keep in touch as times and this is a fun way to keep up with the things going on in our friends’ lives. 

I thought it would be fun to round out my end of year posts with a 2012 Instagram photo recap.  Here are small tiles of every picture I posted this year on Instagram!

I thought it would be fun to add a little Instagram Analysis - out of my 280 pictures posted this year 101 of them fell in the following 11 categories.  Apparently I post the most about Divot, food, and myself.

Book a Week Challenge Update

I wish I had better news to give but the whole idea of issuing myself this challenge on my blog was to keep myself honest.  The good news is that I have read 24 books so far!  This is a big jump from my reading habits the previous year, while I have always loved reading I had gotten out of the habit of reading.  From that standpoint I consider my challenge a success! 

From a comparison to my goal standpoint I have fallen behind my plan.  I have only 11 weeks left until the 1 year mark for my book a week challenge.  This means I am going to fall behind my goal of 52 books within the year unless I kick in high gear and read 2.5 books a week for the remainder of the time.  While that is not impossible it is improbable.  I selfishly reflected on reading some really short, low level books just to say I met my goal but that isn't my style.  I didn't want to just read any books; I wanted to read books for pleasure or for personal growth.  I do plan to read one a week for the next 11 weeks so I’ll end the challenge with a total of 35 books which isn't too shabby.  I will post a final summary at the end of March when the challenge year concludes.

I do plan to try and continue to push myself to make time for reading in my life and while less formal want to continue to strive to read at least one book a week!

Shiny and Bright

I always tell Kyle not to go overboard at Christmas and then he generally proceeds not to listen to me.  This year was no exception but when I opened one of my presents my jaw dropped and I couldn't even pretend to give him a hard time about overdoing!  Kyle gave me a beautiful Michael Kors watch that I absolutely adore.  I am not much of a watch wearer but that has all changed!

Our 4th Annual Christmas Party!

This year was our fourth annual Christmas party at our house.  Time flies! 

We decided to have the party closer to Christmas this year to allow some of our out of town friends the chance to make it.  We had people in from Texas and even as far as Switzerland and Norway.  Seeing friends and family is truly our favorite part of the holidays and having such great turnout made our hearts swell with joy.  I have also finally figured out how to host the party without completely stressing myself out which if you know me well is a major victory. 

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the evening:

Garden Lights!

The Atlanta Botanical Gardens was shining brightly this year.  We took the time to go visit the gardens at night and bought tickets to their Christmas light display.  We were unable to go until right before Christmas so it was packed but it did not disappoint.  Each area of the garden was decorated with different kinds of lights.  The canopy walk was flanked on either side by enormous tree trunks wrapped in colored lights including one candy cane striped tree.  The fountain below the canopy walk was all blue and white twinkle lights.  There was a model train area with several trains and tracks which brought out the children inside each of us.  The main walkway had beautiful blue trees on either side which led to main courtyard area which was my favorite part.  In the large opening they had what they called orchestral orbs which changed colors with the music.  It was like the lights were dancing perfectly timed choreography.  The conservatory had been transformed into something other worldly. It was completely dark inside and small green lights flickered all over the conservatory.  The ethereal lights were complemented by the sound of tropical frogs singing.  It was a little disorienting but was an unforgettable experience, if only my camera could have captured the experience as vividly as my memory.  They also added a few holiday touches to the Orchid house which was as beautiful as always!

Thanksgiving

I have so much to be thankful for this year!  I had been very sad to see several of our friends move out of state in the past couple of years but this year we have developed several new friends who have enriched our lives greatly.  We have also been able to do a great job staying in touch with our friends who live further away now even though it has been challenging at times.  We are both in good health and so are our families!  We have both worked really hard at maintaining marriage and I’d venture to say that we are even happier now then we were four and half a years ago.  We are both doing well at work and feel challenged and rewarded by our jobs in various ways.  Kyle will be starting his doctoral program this summer and we’ve been working hard mentally/spiritually/financially to get ready for that and we are both excited about the start of that adventure for him!  It is not that our lives are without obstacles it is just that we are both handling the highs and lows very well right now.  I pray that we continued to be prepared for whatever blessings and trials lay before us in the coming year!

The Grodzicki’s

Congratulations to our good friends on their marriage!  They are such a great couple and we were honored to be able to attend their wedding and reception.  It was an incredibly fun night and hope it is the beginning of wonderful memories for them as a married couple!

Oktoberfest!

 Four years ago Kyle’s mom and her husband held their first Oktoberfest at their home in Indiana as their wedding celebration.  It was such a popular event that they have been hosting it each year since then.  Due to our annual pilgrimage for the Fourth of July we have not been able to make the trek in October as well.  There are not many times that we are thankful for furlough days in the school schedule but this year it worked out well.  We rode up with Kyle’s grandparents and arrived early to help set-up for the event.  It was so nice to get away from all the hustle and bustle and spent a weekend on the farm.  Their friends are a blast and lasted much later into the night than we did.  The bonfire and hayride were probably my favorite!

My Trip to Houston!

I finally was able to make it to Houston to visit my best friend!  I can’t believe it took a whole and a half to make it happen but I’m so glad I was able to go and can’t wait to return for a visit with Kyle.  My favorite part of the trip was seeing a lot of the people and places that I have heard about first hand.  Her and her husband have really built a life there and I felt so much more included being able to spend the weekend there with them.  They have a beautiful home and her interior design taste is impeccable.  I’d always loved her taste for college apartment décor and her room at home but her ideas really came to their life in their home.  My favorite touch was that she put fresh flowers in several of the rooms.  It gave those rooms such an elegant and warm feel.  I made a mental note to buy some fresh flowers before we have company as often as possible! 

We began the weekend with tacos and margaritas at one of the favorite neighborhood restaurants.  The restaurant was walking distance from their house and was full of charm and local flair.  We sat out on the patio and enjoyed the breeze which was a welcome break from the Texas heat.  On Saturday we went on a tour around Houston and of course spent some time shopping.  Lunch was highlighted by some of the best empanadas I've ever had, proof that you can’t beat local food.  That evening we met up with some of their friends and had a lovely sushi dinner.  Our plan was to go dancing after dinner but our now mid to late twenty something selves opted to stay in and play Apples to Apples instead.  We all laughed that it was a sign that we were all getting older but truthfully I think we all enjoyed the evening we had much more than we would have enjoyed the evening we originally planned. 

Sunday was a lazy morning and afternoon which is just the way I like my Sundays.  We got a pleasant surprise when we realized the Emmy awards were on that night.  It has been a longstanding tradition of ours to either watch the pre-show together or text back and forth about the fashion choices.  We decided such a girly evening required a fun dinner so we opted for making our own wine and cheese board.  Our husbands would have asked where the rest of dinner was but we were in heaven. 

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end so the next day I headed home but we had such a wonderful visit.