Be Mine Conference 2014

So I have been busy trying to finalize my talking points and activity for my breakout session for the Be Mine conference this year.  This is the third year of the conference and my third year serving as a breakout session leader.  My first year I spoke about social media, last year I spoke about my experience with depression in high school, and this year I get to speak about friendship.  I have had so many ideas swirling in my head about what to focus on in the talk and how to approach the subject.  God has been giving me lots of inspiration but I’m trying to get it all organized and ready since the event is this weekend. 

I plan to talk first about the kind of friend that Jesus was by talking about his friendship traits and examples in scripture.  Then I plan to move into what kind of friends we are to one another.  Jesus constantly demonstrated sacrificial love, acceptance, forgiveness, and loyalty.  

As women we are often our own biggest obstacle to genuine Christian friendships and being a disciple to others.  Often we allow our biased, egotistical, and prideful beliefs to interfere with meaningful interactions with others.  If we are not treating ourselves well, we often have difficulty accepting being treated well by others.  Our society often teaches us how to be critical of ourselves and others and to condemn people for not looking or acting a certain way.  Our greatest weapon against the evil at work in these times is extending kindness to others, demonstrating compassion, and practicing forgiveness. 

Consider the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37).  Jesus describes a man who was beaten by burglars and left for dead.  Two people with religious backgrounds saw the man and walked around him without helping.  A Samaritan did stop and help the man.  Although the Jews did not care for Samaritans the story highlights that Jesus rejoices when we strip away judgment so we can love and help others.  In our friendships most of us are not dealing with physical wounds like this but when a friend is suffering in some way this parable illuminates that God wants us to respond to the people around us with love and compassion. 

What barriers do we have to meaningful friendships? 

Gossiping (violates trust)
Passive Aggressiveness (impedes forgiveness)
Judgment (inhibits kindness to others)
Lying ( violates trust)
Being Superficial (dulls or prevents compassion)

Links to my posts about the first two years of the conference can be found
here and here. 

RIP Miles

We got the terrible news yesterday that Kyle’s cousin had died at the age of 21 in a car accident.  He hit a patch of black ice and slid into a tree.  Miles was so young and vibrant and goofy.  He has a 3 year old daughter who will not have her dad as she grows up.  It is just so tragic.  Kyle and I talked about how senseless it seems.  We also talked about how awful it is seeing his family go through this kind of loss again.  There is a familiar ache from losing someone so young in such an unexpected accident.  I will always remember Miles for his goofy smile and his dare devil attitude.  He was wonderful with kids and it makes me so sad that his daughter and nephew won’t get to grow up having him in their lives.  We love you and we miss you Miles! 

I was reminded of a poem I wrote back when Mike passed:

On Your Way Up

Confusion on their faces,

I wouldn’t say it’s hard to see,

Straight through this glass heart,

Shattered into tiny pieces,

Like the windows the night we lost you

On your way up to heaven,

What did you look down and see,

A world full of hate, or people filled with need

My heart is bent and broken,

Once it seemed so strong,

Shaken and twisted from that night,

Scattered amongst the wreckage,

Is the reality that this life can be short

On your way up to heaven,

What’d you look down and see,

A world full of tragedy, or life’s destiny

I hold my loved one’s a little closer today,

Loss makes us feel crazy things,

Never again will I take a single day for granted,

Never again will my life be the same

On your way up to heaven,

You’re on your way up to heaven

And I hope you look down and see

How many lives you touched

How many lives you’ve changed

And that your time here wasn’t in vain

MLK Jr.

Things to Avoid

I read the Positivity Blog by Henrik Edberg regularly and really enjoyed a recent post about 10 things to avoid for happier 2014.  Here are my favorites from the list:

• Avoid the sea of negative voices.
• Avoid comparing yourself to other people.
• Avoid spending too little energy and attention on what truly matters to you.

I think it’s important to be intentional in our actions and clearly outline things we want to achieve.  I think a key step people often miss is including in that plan the things we need to stop doing.  Time is a finite resource and we have to make wise choices about how we allocate our time and energy.  A good way to make time for new things is to cut out the things that hold us back. 

The one that really hit home was avoiding negative voices.  Unfortunately I must admit that my own self-criticism is often one of the loudest negative voices I encounter on a regular basis.  This article made me consider the price of that negative thinking.  For example if I had a goal to work out three times a week and I stayed focus on met my goal.  I should feel very positively about achieving that goal for the week.  I set out to do something and I did it.  Meeting this goal week after week is what builds the health and lifestyle that I desire for myself.  Each week I meet my goal I drive closer to my larger overarching goals.  The thing that often happens to me is that I allow my negative thoughts about the results not matching what I want and get discouraged.  Those feelings of discouragement often make it two or three times as hard to feel motivated to keep up my work out routine because I deflate my own accomplishments.  This then makes me less likely to remain motivated to keep pursuing my goal.   

Link to the original post:  http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2014/01/08/avoid-for-a-happier-2014/

Chill

There is a bone chilling nip in the air

Clouds settle low and heavy, close to the ground

The sun making only brief appearances

Outdone by winter who is a cruel mistress

- D.K. Jones

Glad Salute of Faith

I found this quote on Pinterest and loved it so I added it to one of my favorite pictures from our trip to Switzerland.  I have been so blessed by placing my trust and my hope in God and know that my faith will only continue to grow as I actively pursue a stronger and more intimate relationship with Him.  

Adventures of Paxton’s Penguin

We had a surprise guest when my cousin and her family came to visit the weekend after Christmas.  Kelly and her husband have two awesome little boys and one of them needed help with a school project.  Paxton had a paper penguin and he was supposed to have friends and family take photos of the penguin in their city.  Once he gets the pictures he will have assignments like writing a story or poem about the places the penguin visited.  My parents started out with the penguin and then gave him to us for a weekend.  Here are some of the adventures we had with Paxton’s penguin:

30 Days of Hustle

I first heard Jon Acuff speak at BigStuf and since then I have been following him on social media.  To kick off the year he started something called 30 Days of Hustle.  Here is his description of the concept:

“The concept is simple; in 2014 we are going to “Do More Stuff.” That’s it.  For 30 days in a row starting on January 1st, I will send you one short, simple task via email. At the end of the 30 days we will measure our results, share our successes, dust off our failures and start again.  One of the ways we will do this is through a concept called “Goal Contagion.” Scientists have found that you are dramatically more likely to accomplish your goals if you can see other people working on goals. You don’t have to even meet the person; simply reading about what they’re working on gives you a literal boost.” – Jon Acuff

I figured it would align well with my resolutions and my commitment to be more specific and intentional as well measuring my progress regularly.  Here are my updates from the first three days.  I’ll post my recap at the end of the 30 days including my progress compared to my goals. 

Day 1: What?

a. Lose 5 pounds by the end of the 30 Days of Hustle

                                                               i.      Starting Weight – 158.4

                                                             ii.      Starting BMI – 27.19

b. Be able to jog for 9 continuous minutes

                                                               i.      Starting Measurement – 5 continuous minutes

Day 2: Why?

a. I feel better when I am in shape.

b. I feel more in control of my life when I make better choices about nutrition and exercise.

c. I want to feel prepared and confident going into my 5k races this year

Day 3: How?

a. Brisk Walk/Jog/Run – at least 3 times per week for at least 2 miles or 30 minutes each

b.Track my nutrition EVERY day using My Fitness Pal

c. Wear my Fit Bit every day and make sure I exceed my 8000 step goal at least 3 times per week

d. Cooking healthier recipes at homes and reducing portion intake when eating out

2014: Annual Resolutions Post

I know resolutions can be hokey but I believe that even if you don’t fully realize your goals that simply having them stretches you to challenge yourself. I have not always met the resolutions I set for myself but I’m always a better person for having pushed myself to meet them and end up further ahead than I would have otherwise. One thing I learned from previous years is that some of the keys to success are to be more specific and to evaluate my progress with more regularity. With that said here are a few of my ambitions for the coming year: 

• HEALTH: Be more active - run at least 3 different 5k races. I have currently signed up for two already. The first will be a 5k race at our church on March 22nd. The second is a Disney race called Expedition Everest on May 3rd. The most exciting part about these races is that Kyle has agreed to run them with me. I am already enjoying training a lot more because we are both working together for the same goal.
• NUTRITION: Cooking light – I love cooking! I want to diversify my repertoire of recipes. I’d like to focus on food that is lighter but still tastes great. One of the sources I’m using for new recipes is “It’s All Good” the cookbook by Gwyneth Paltrow. I’d also like to reduce our processed food intake. I had a lot of stomach issues in 2013 and I think more balanced nutrition is a big key to the solution to some of my issues.
• ADVENTURE: 30 before 30 Checklist – I have 11 items remaining on my list. My goal for this year is to complete 9 of them. I have mapped out which month I plan to complete each of the 9 items and I feel confident I can accomplish those items.
• PERSONAL GROWTH: Find a new passion/hobby – Kyle loves his doctoral program and it’s keeping him pretty busy. I’m so proud of him but it’s brought to light that I feel like I need something outside of work that I am passionate about. I have always admired photography and my plan for this year is to buy an SLR camera and learn how to use it. A friend of mine owns a company that teaches classes and my first class is scheduled for Sunday February 9th. He recommended that I get the camera he uses and I’ll use his for the class to make sure I love it. After I take that class I’ll take the plunge and get my camera!
• ADVENTURE: Travel – In 2013 we traveled a lot and it was wonderful! I’d like to continue our travel adventures this year. Especially because I know in a couple years once we start a family our ability to travel as frequently will change quite a bit. So far we have plans to go to Houston (January), Charlotte (February), TBD Location for a Mini Spring Break (April), Orlando (May), Vail/Denver Colorado (May), 12 Mile Indiana (July), and Washington DC (November).
• ORGANIZATION: Focus on Organization at Home – our space is wonderful but it’s small so keeping things orderly is critical. We normally achieve this with a major purge twice a year. It has been effective but it’s also exhausting. This year I’d like to try a more systematic approach. I found a 52 week challenge for home organization that tackles a small zone of the house each week. I don’t think we’ll be able to do one every week but I’d like to use it as a goal to break our organization maintenance into smaller more manageable pieces. I have one ambiguous goal that I felt was worth mentioning. 

I have yet to figure out the best way to measure it but it has been a spiritual and personal goal of mine for the past two years and I feel strongly committed to continuing it in 2014. I have been calling it Contented Spirit. It is a reminder to be thankful for all the blessings in my life, to be more active in pursuing my faith, to fight the urge to constantly compare to others, and to be actively engaged in the present moment.