Confronting Contradictions

I regularly read the Happiness Project blog by Gretchen Rubin.  I loved her book The Happiness Project and so I’ve started following her blog entries.  She recently posted about contradictions she has encountered in her study of happiness. 

http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2013/05/do-you-embrace-these-contradictions-theyre-important-for-happiness/

I found several of them very though provoking so I am posting them here with a few of my own thoughts based on my experiences.

1. Accept myself, and expect more of myself.

· I am much better at the second part – I am most content when I set a goal and achieve it and do not feel as at ease in a steady state.  I think that comes from my fear that time passes so quickly that if I’m not moving forward that I’m moving backwards. 

2. Use my time efficiently, yet make time to play, to wander, to read at whim, to fail.

· I have gotten increasingly better at this one once I finally embraced that I am more introverted than I ever thought I was.  I love to be around others and master my task lists but if I do not take time to recharge then my productivity decreases exponentially.  I can always tell when I’m taking on too much because I reach a point where my mind just wants to close everything out.  Usually a quiet evening at home reading and relaxing fixes my attitude almost immediately. 

3. Take myself less seriously—and take myself more seriously.

· I take myself entirely too seriously.  I get so wrapped up in my own thoughts that it can be maddening.  It is part of why I sleep so poorly at night.  I am not sure but I’ve got to find a way to improve at taking myself less seriously.  My husband does a great job balancing these two, maybe he can teach me. 

4. Someplace, keep an empty shelf, and someplace, keep a junk drawer.

· In the literal sense I am not great at keeping empty shelves.  In the mental sense I am vastly improving at this.  I have learned that if I don’t leave a little spare time/mental capacity in my life I will not have room for new things I want to tackle.  In the past couple of years my mental empty shelf has made room for learning to make sushi, craft nights, trying aerial dancing, painting, poetry writing, blogging, etc.  If you fill your life to the brim with things you already know and are comfortable with then you leave no room for new adventures.  My 30 before 30 challenge has helped me a great deal in pushing myself to make room for new things in my life.  I do love lists after all!

5. Think about myself so I can forget myself.

· To me this means taking inventory of where you are in life.  This allows you to course correct any issues you see as you go.  Once you know where you are and feel comfortable with your state of being you can focus more energy on the people and activities in your life.  I have found this activity of self-discovery and course correcting has to be revisited periodically but in doing so it prevents me from obsessing over it all the time. 

6. Paying close attention to something sometimes helps me to ignore it.

· I have not found this to be the case for me personally.  I am great at fixating on things but in doing so I have not found that it helps me ignore anything.  Example – I regularly track my food diary, calories, and exercise.  This does help me reach my health and fitness goals!  It does not however make me miss chocolate and ice cream.  It reminds me why I should not consume those things but it doesn’t make the craving go away for me.  I have found the longer I go without those things the less frequent my cravings become. 

7. Often it takes discipline to take pleasure.

· I agree, especially with things like exercise and cooking.  One truth about me is that I generally have to feel like I’m good at something before I can fully enjoy it.  The more I practice things like exercise and cooking, the more competent I feel in my abilities, and the more I can enjoy those things.  I have always found it takes discipline to manage my schedule in a way that leaves time for leisure activities that I enjoy.  If I’m not using my time wisely then I don’t have enough time for things I love like reading and blogging.

8. If I want to keep going, I must allow myself to stop.

· My thoughts on question 2 are extremely relevant here as well.  As an introvert I have to take time to recharge or I become miserable to be around.  Just ask Kyle!

9. The days are long, but the years are short.

· So true!  Personally I think this is true because while I feel some unhappiness due to stress and daily activities, my overall happiness and contentment with my life is very high.  This means the stress of daily activities feel longer and more agonizing at times but overall the weeks and months seem to melt together.  Increasingly so since entering my career since there is a routine/cycle to my schedule.