Worrying

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow” – Swedish Proverb

I have been using some of the downtime here at the end of the year catching up on several of the blogs I enjoy reading.  One of the ones I enjoy is called the Positivity Blog.  I saw this quote in one their entries and it stirred up some of my own thoughts about the effects of worrying. 

In stressful times I spend a fair amount of my spare time and energy worrying.  I am particularly bad about worrying about preferred outcomes to conversations or actions that have already occurred.  For example if I have a particularly difficult discussion at work or with a friend I will often replay this dialog in my head repeatedly.  Each time rephrasing my dialog or modifying my actions until I determine what the best possible outcome could have been.  Truthfully this is an almost pointless activity because no matter how much energy I expend I cannot go back and change what has already happened.  The only solace I offer myself is that this activity often prevents me from repeating the same mistakes in my interactions with others.  In this case I think the quote applies because I build up my fault in the interaction to something much larger than it really was.

The other most common cause of worrying for me is anticipating negative outcomes.  As I approach new situations or high stress activities I often run various scenarios outcomes through my head.  These often include positive outcomes as well but I frequently find myself trying to mentally prepare my reaction to each of the negative outcomes.  This seems fruitless when I consider that each scenario only has one true outcome and no amount of worrying will prepare me any better than the plethora of life experience that I have already collected.  The quote applies here because I allow remote possibilities to turn into areas of focus in my mind when really they do not deserve that much credit.

In summation I do not think I will ever be someone who can eliminate worrying entirely.  However, I do think I can remind myself of these observations in times of particular mental anguish due to my mental anticipation and reaction to stress in my life.  I must remind myself to be present and to reassure myself that I have prepared as best as I can for whatever comes next.