Happiness Interview

Gretchen Rubin, the author of the Happiness Project and Happier at Home, often conducts Happiness Interviews with people she meets or admires.  I’m always interested in the responses so I thought I should pose these same questions to myself.  Nobody is more in control of your own happiness than yourself so I thought perhaps reviewing my own responses might be very helpful.

What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Helping other people regularly makes me happier.  I have also noticed that learning new information or skills regularly increases my happiness and self-satisfaction.

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?
I used to think that I had to everything perfect in my life to be truly happy.  I have found that sometimes the imperfection is even more delightful and much less stressful.  I am much happier being my goofy and less restrained self than when I am putting on my “perfect” face for others. 

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?
I am too critical of myself.  There is a quote I stumbled upon that goes like this “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.”  I often fall into this trap.  If I feel that I have fallen short on something I will focus on the unachieved goal rather than the progress made towards the goal.  If I want to work out 3-4 times a week and only go twice I find my natural instinct is to beat myself up for being lazy and missing a day or two, instead of seeing that going twice is better than not at all.  This trait is both a blessing and a curse.

Another thing is that I often get lazy with my eating and exercise habits and this routinely affects my mood, energy level, and confidence level.  When I make good choices with these areas I often feel much more energized.  It is a struggle not to choose the immediate gratification of unhealthy choices.

Is there a happiness quotation that has struck you as particularly insightful?
“You cannot achieve happiness by changing others, you must first affect change in yourself”
I came across this quote in the Happiness Project and really loved it.  I have a much higher degree of control in my happiness and increasing my own happiness will naturally brim over into the lives of the people around me. 

If you’re feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost? 
Sometimes I get so focused on others and on work that I neglect my need for personal time.  Often spending a quiet afternoon at home reading a book, taking a bath, and enjoying a quiet dinner in helps me hit the reset button and helps recharge my batteries. 

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness? 
People who are thankful for what they have no matter how much or little that may be always seem to be the happiest and most peaceful.  People who are always driving for more and more always seem to be the most at odds with their current situation.  There is a lot to be said for drive and ambition but it must be countered with an appreciation for where you are at the current moment.

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
Yes, in waves.  I struggle with seasonal affective disorder and find that I have to work very hard at maintaining my happiness in the winter months.  The key for me was learning my trigger signs for unhappiness.  There are certain thoughts I have and changes in my mood that are clear signals that I need to focus on boosting my happiness levels.  It helps a great deal that my husband has learned these as well and often helps me rebound from them if I get carried away with a bad mood or negative thoughts. 

Have you ever been surprised that something you expected would make you very happy, didn’t – or vice versa? 
Yes, I had always considered my extravert.  To me this meant that seeing friends and family would always be a guaranteed pick me up.  It turns out that while I am often an extravert if I go too long without taking time out for myself that I find myself feeling very drained and irritable.  For me it has been about striking the right balance between the two sides of my personality. 

Something that gives me little bursts of happiness which I did not expect is writing this blog.  I have never considered myself to be a great writer but jotting down my thoughts has been surprisingly fun and rewarding way to stay in touch with myself.  I also get tremendous bursts or joy from crossing items off my to-do list; I love the feeling of accomplishing a goal even if it is small.