Mentoring

This month marks the five year mark of our volunteer activities with the Ignition youth group at our church.  Wow, time flies!  I think back to when we started with the group.  I was about to be 23 and I was completely intimidated by the girls in my group.  I was so worried that they wouldn't connect with me or like me.  I went home so many nights frustrated that it was taking so long for them to open up.  I always thought my youth leaders were so cool and looked up to them and truthfully when we first started I wasn't sure I fit that mold.  Kyle being a teacher was much more fearless since he spent all day getting teenagers who weren't that interested to listen to him so he gave me such good advice and encouraged me to stick with it.  I remember at about 4 months in one of my girls rushed up to me at church and gave me a big hug without being prompted and it was the first sign that I was starting to really connect with them.  It’s amazing how simple that gesture was but it was significant to me.  Instead of being tolerated I was finally connecting with them. 

Two years in my first set of girls graduated high school.  I cried like a baby at their senior service.  As sad as I was to see them move on I was so proud.  Not having kids of our own it was a small glimpse at the pride you feel when someone you invest your life in succeeds and moves onto a new phase in life.  I was so thankful I had another year with the other three girls in my group.  At this point we had started a bible study and were getting together regularly for coffee, movies, shopping, etc.  I knew that their graduation would be an even tougher pill to swallow for me.  Each year you get with a mentee deepens the relationship and I was so lucky to get three whole years with the girls before they graduated.  In a leadership training session at BigStuf one year they talked about the hardships of going off to college and what a trying time it is for your faith.  Having remembered that same struggle for myself personally I made a commitment to myself and to my girls that even though they were going to college that they were by no means losing me as a presence in their lives.  Graduation came and more tears came as well but this time I was even more confident that it was not truly a goodbye. 

I have kept that promise and so have the girls.  I see them each time they come home for breaks and holidays and we talk/text sporadically while they are at school.  This summer several of them have internships and they have matured in such amazing women.  I’m so thankful that I get to be part of their story and watch as the next chapters unfold for them.  They have transitioned more to friends and the conversations we have continue to deepen as they face new opportunities and obstacles.  I gave job references for some of them which made me feel old but also reminded me that even though I don’t get to see them every Wednesday and Sunday any longer I still get to be part of their lives.

After my first group graduated I faced a tough choice to walk away or start again with a new group.  I knew the roller coaster of emotions of starting fresh, deepening relationships, then watching them transition away but I knew in my heart I wasn't done with youth ministry.  So I started up again with the freshmen girls.  It was hard at first going back to some of the younger mindset and issues but I was glad to have the opportunity to get to know a whole new set of girls.  Quickly I fell in love all over again and knew I wanted to help be a part of the spiritual and emotional journeys for them.  Now those girls are wrapping up their sophomore years and I can’t believe how quickly they are growing up!  I still think I’m lucky because I feel like I get way more out of volunteering with this group than I put in but that’s why I know it’s such a good fit.  I still have heart breaking moments where I wish I could just magically take their pain and heart ache away but I know that walking with them through those things is one of the ways to help them grow and mature in their lives and in their faith.  God uses our struggles to strengthen us and many times has reminded me that there is so much work to be done in this world!